I’d like to continue the discussion of kids and organizing that I started a couple of days ago. As you know I’m a huge advocate for getting kids involved in the organizing process. Organizing is a skill to be taught just like any other and a big component of that is learning how to make decisions. Clutter is often defined as decisions we’ve yet to make so giving kids the opportunity to practice this early when stakes aren’t as high will certainly help them in the future.
In her book, Growing-Up Organized: A Mom-to-Mom Guide, Professional Organizer, Lea Schneider of Organize Right Now, explains how to do this in detail. I just wanted to share a quick excerpt from her book here.
It’s a Matter of Control
We all want to be in control. Kids too! That is why we end up in a power struggle. One of the best organizing tips for working with children is to allow them input. Ask them all kinds of questions and really listen.
How did your room get this way?
What kind of room rules would help keep it more organized?
Where should you keep your books?
Allowing your child some say in their room layout really makes them feel in charge of their room. Once they feel in charge, they will feel empowered to take care of their room. Let them suggest a new arrangement for the furniture. It might not be as an interior decorator would do it but who cares! A decorator doesn’t live in the room. Let them rearrange the furniture, as long as the choice is safe and doesn’t block exits. Let them choose a wall color or a new comforter for the bed. Take into consideration their suggestions for how and where to store their toys. Remember that if that decision doesn’t work out, you can point that it didn’t work out and ask them to come up with a new idea. Part of getting and staying organized is accepting change. As things change, you must change with them. If something doesn’t work out, then try something new!
Empowering your kids with choices in their rooms, at the same time as giving them responsibility for that rooms’ cleaning and organization, is a win-win situation. Again you can’t sit back and order them to do it. Every step of teaching your child to be organized is a cooperative effort between parent and child.
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I know it’s hard, believe me I know. It’s often so much easier to just go in and do it for them. But the fact of the matter is we are responsible for training up our kids in all sorts of areas and organizing is definitely an area that shouldn’t be ignored.
Over the next couple of weeks I hope to expand on this topic even more. It’s a huge passion of mine. I’d also like to carry it through to talk about kids and chores. Another biggie for me. For now though I’ll leave you with this question.
Do your kids have assigned daily and weekly chores that they are responsible for?
Patricia says
My kids are always helping. They’re great! But do not have assigned chores – yet. With babe #4 here, I really want to start this. I look forward to reading more.
Katy says
This is great–just what I need. I do alright with asking my kids to help, etc, but I am terribly unorganized myself (hence the reason I love your blog–so inspirational!), so it definitely does not come naturally. By the way, any suggestions as to what age is good to let kids start making those decisions? I think if I let my daughter chose where to keep her toys, they would all be in a pile in the center of her room…….
Elizabeth says
My oldest is responsible for emptying the dishwasher and feeding the cats. As for their room…we’re still working on that!
Anna says
I’m glad you are doing this series. As someone who did not learn these things growing up, I have had to learn them as an adult. (And I’m still learning.) I want to teach them to my children as they grow.
A Mom Anonymous says
Yep, my kids both have chores. I started with them at about 18 mo. when they were able to help pick up their toys. They are both fairly “organized” with their stuff now – they know that things have a place and it’s much easier in the long run to keep the pieces together than to leave things in chaos and search for them later.
My 8 year old wanted to start getting an allowance so we made up a chore chart for him. Now I don’t even need the chart – he knows what he has to do. It’s taught him a lot about money as well and working for it. He has the ability to earn a bit extra for doing extra work too. I know that is a hot topic for many saying that kids shouldn’t be paid to do things they should just naturally be responsible for but here, it’s worked great teaching about money and avoiding the “buy this for me” whining. They also feed our animals (dog & cat) which shows them compasion and responsibility for a living thing. They know now that if they don’t feed the dog, she will die! They have to take care of her and their things.
Obviously my 4 year old can’t do as much as my 8 year old but she has age-appropriate chores that include making her bed, helping set & clear the dinner table, picking up toys etc.
Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama says
Both my kids help to clear the dishwasher, make their own beds, pick up their toys before bedtime, clear their plates from the table,etc.
Jake (6 yr old), sorts his dirty laundry and puts away his clean clothes that I put in his room. I’m also easing him into emptying the small trash cans once a week.
Emma (4 yr old) puts her clean clothes on hangers but can’t reach the rod yet. She also puts away clothes that go in the dresser. She’s my helper when it comes to cooking, too!
Anna in ID says
What helps me greatly in the bedrooms and playrooms is to teach them early that not all toys are meant to be out at the same time. They get used to making decisions regularly about packing away or giving away toys they are not using in exchange for toys that they haven’t seen in awhile (hence “new” again). Keeping the number of toys that are out in sight at any one time means they will play with them more and that they will be able to pick them up easier.
ALso, toys will small pieces should be played with on a table-like surface instead of the floor where they get scattered, in my opinion. This technique has worked for me with younger children for 20+ year.s
Erin says
Mine don’t have assigned chores yet, but my 3yo is pretty good at picking things up, is very organized and she actually helps make her bed!
Kristy says
I still remember my mother nagging me to clean my room and all the while I was thinking “Look at her room, it’s trashed!” I make sure I have my space tidy before I start in on the kids. Of course they need chores.. it teaches responsibility but they learn what they live. I have to set the example if I expect them to follow suit.
BTW Laura, you have wonderful tips. I’m a horrible organizer and I’m learning tons from you. Can’t thank you enough!
se7en says
I love spring cleaning with my kids and they really get into it… Since we homeschool they are never out for the morning so that I can sneak in and do it… So the only way is to teach them the process… We donate heaps of stuff… Just this weekend we had friends come over and their kids went totally mad and unpacked EVERY single toy in our kids room – total nightmare… Why my kids didn’t say: we are not allowed to go in the cupboards without asking (they have current toys out and that’s it!)… Anyway it took my five year old and I three hours to sort our way through it and he was brilliant: “This is far too much stuff – lets donate some”… Two black bags of donatable toys later and everything reorganized and back in its place we were both thrilled with our achievement!!! Thanks to our friends this would have taken all day without their “help”!!!
Beverly says
Kids can start very very young. although I haven’t read the book you mentioned I expect things like good communication, assigning roles and responsibilities and age appropriate chores are in there.
We found family meetings as a good way to handle all of these and I think it is so important I put a page on my website about this if anyone is interested.
Adrian says
That’s a great post. I think I’m going to point some of my readers over here to read it. My kids do have chores assigned, but I’m not very good about making them do them on a regular basis. That’s the hardest thing for me, doing anything on a regular schedule.
Hollie says
My daughter has chores and responsibilities each day. She has to clean the guinea pig cage (her pet), feed it, she also makes breakfast now, sweeps the kitchen in morning, and takes out the trash when needed. I feel it is super important to teach children that we have to work as a team in a family and we all do our parts.
SupplyChick says
This is GREAT! I like the part about allowing the kids to have charge of their room. Our oldest is 6 and I’ve alway pretty much “told” him what his room will look like (Dino themed, bed over there, toes go here). Maybe I’ll try that with him and see if it helps him keep the chaos under control better.
Jennifer says
My children have a few chores. The two oldest alternate taking the clothes out of the dryer and loading it back up. If it is a load of towels/washclothes/dishclothes the youngest helps me fold them. I fold any other clothes, but they are responsible for placing them in the drawers and hanging them up. Again with the oldest two alternating helping their younger sister with hers. Their rooms are cleaned by helping one another. If they are not completely destroyed, I “award” them by picking up one day a week. They all three take turns in the kitchen duties (except cooking, I haven’t got that brave yet.)
Monkey's Momma says
What a great post. My six year old helps out, but probably needs a few daily chores to teach him more responsibility.
I must remember to be an example of getting organized and keeping things neat and tidy.
Jen@Sunshine4Teachers says
My girls, six and seven, have 10 mini-jobs they have to do between the two of them before Saturday morning cartoons happen. They are the jobs I dislike most (dusting three rooms and garbage taking out in two baths) along with some basics (take bedding off Friday morning and put in laundry room).
The list is on a cute, small clipboard with magnets on the back. It’s on the fridge with a red pen hanging off of it on yarn. They love checking something off…not to mention using the feather duster. 🙂
I try not to be picky because this is training right now. Notice, I said “try.”
Gayle says
This is such a good refresher! With four kids (5-13yrs and at home with me all day being homeschooled) and a giant old house, I had a hard time keeping it clean. Then it hit me, if I listed all the things that need to get done and divvied them up between the kids, I wouldn’t have to do it at all. (well, maybe a little). That’s helped me so much. Now they do most of it and I just take care of deep cleaning.
This is a great topic!
Creative Triplet Mom says
I have one child who volunteers to do every chore. The other 2 whine and complain and I get “What do I get?” when I ask them to do something. I have been giving out lolly pops and now I just started to give them money but it’s getting really horrible as they expect something after they do anything. Clear the table, empty dish washer, help with laundry, pick up toys, etc. How can I get them to do something without asking for something in return? They are only 4 and asking for money and then they think they can purchase anything in the store. Looking forward to reading your comment on the subject.
Erika says
Laura, we don’t have regular chores for the kids yet. In fact, most often, they don’t even clean their rooms, because I enjoy doing it for them, and surprising DD after school with a clean organized bedroom.
However, a lot of my not choring has to do with the fact that DD spends 8 hours away at school, comes home, does homework, plays for a very short time, and then it’s dinner and the bedtime routine. I hate the idea of adding chores to that so she doesn’t get a chance to play and relax. This is all going to change in the near future, as we’ve decided to homeschool, and part of the homeschool experience will be taking ownership in the household chores. DD will help with dishes (no dishwasher here), laundry, and vacuuming. Younger DS will help with trash and yard duties, as well as setting and clearing the dinner table.
I’m hoping to come up with a few more ideas yet.
SherrySam says
I’ve found that the virtual chore chart works for me. I use a site called Handipoints chore charts to make printables and it’s really been fun so far!
Just Another Mom says
“Do your kids have assigned daily and weekly chores that they are responsible for?”
Yes! Our children are 16,13,10,10,&10. They are responsible for all aspects of keeping this home clean. With one exception my room is off limits. They also now how to cook meals from scratch and from a box. They also keep up the yard. My oldest will be learning vehicle maintaince this summer and I will be expecting him to help maintain the vehicles. And to some degree they know how to do minor plumbing, dry wall, carpentry, and basic wiring. Now I suppose some will say that we have gone to the extreme. Perhaps but, we both agree we didn’t leave home with enough skills or expectations of what it takes and feel they needed to be allowed to learn it all. I just tease my son about being careful not to pick a woman who can’t cook because she will always take advantage of his cooking and might never learn. One of his favorite things to cook right now is augratin ham and potatoes with biscuits, yum. My advice is to start them young, don’t expect them to perfom things perfectly or to perform them as you would. 🙂 All to soon they will be moving out and I get to reassume the major clean up role, huh…haha. Unless I teach the dog!