When You’re Not Enough…
Today I’m shooting straight from the heart because something has been on my mind. I follow a lot of blogs and it seems that so many of them are talking about how to organize your Christmas, how to spend less, how to simplify more, how to decorate, how to bake cookies, how to take the perfect picture, how to do this and how to do that. Now don’t get me wrong these are all really great posts on their own but after reading them one right after the other for weeks on end well let me just put it out there and say this, I’m feeling a little intimidated. I can’t help it. It’s a personality flaw I’ve struggled with for years. The feeling of intimidation usually leads to feelings of inadequacy which usually leads to getting less done and putting myself down.
That horrible good for nothing self doubt sure does rear its ugly head sometimes. It’s the worst isn’t it? The feeling that we aren’t good enough when we compare ourselves to others. I’m pretty sure we all do it at one time or another, in blogland or in life, it’s just so hard not too. So often those self doubts and expectations we feel weighing us down are all of our own doing though. We make assumptions of others that may or may not be true and perceptions can be dangerous if we allow them to mess with our minds.
Truth is I’m not near anywhere ready for Christmas. I’ve had to get realistic about my time and cut some things out because I just can’t do it “all”. Thankfully I’m really not that stressed about it but let me tell you it’s a constant battle with the good for nothing perception that tells me that everyone else around me is managing just fine keeping all their balls going in the air at the same time, why can’t I?
I recently read a great article that spoke to me of this very same topic. It was an article written by Dionna Sanchez and published in the most recent edition of Empowered Magazine, a fantastic free online magazine created to equip and empower women to serve and honor God with their lives. I’ll just give you a snippet of that article here:
As I am contemplating all of this, it occurs to me how prideful we can all be trying to “be enough.” Because when we try to be enough – it is really for ourselves and not for someone else. We seem to get it in our heads that we need to achieve some level of “success” in our own hearts and minds to consider ourselves worthy to be loved or to have an attitude of self-importance. But if I look at it in a different light, instead of from a prideful heart that needs to be validated – I see that God can work more in my life when I’m not enough. That is when I seek Him and reach out to Him and grow as a believer. I will never be enough – because only my God is enough.
Wow, that’s huge. I am so grateful for a God that loves me just as I am, freakness and all, and if I’m good enough for HIM than I’d better just get over myself and let me be good enough for me too.