In the past couple of years I’ve tried really hard not to use the word busy to describe my life. I’ve been intentional about slowing my life down. I do not view busy as a badge of honor, instead whenever I use the word I am embarrassed by it. I honestly don’t see it as something to be proud of.
This past week I read a great article on the topic called Busy is a Sickness. The author shares how the excessive busyness we control in life (as opposed to the things we can’t control like weather and traffic) results in many health problems but it is a sickness we bring on ourselves. It’s an interesting read, so go on over and take a read.
The way I see it though is that the problem lies in the recognizing and admitting that we control the busyness in our lives and not the other way around. In most cases, it’s not something that is just happening to us, we are allowing it to happen. Most people are going so fast that they don’t stop long enough to realize that there are other choices. In fact, while you are in it (and I used to be there), you think that the stress you are experiencing as a result of the busyness is normal. It actually wasn’t until I stepped off the busy train that I could clearly see that the chronic stress I was under was not normal at all. I’ve written about my experience many times on the blog before (I’ll add some links below) and I’ll keep talking about it in hopes of helping others who are stressed but too busy to see any other way.
These other ways though are often met with resistant at first especially when I say things like after school activities are not mandatory. I always get gasps over that one. Many think that if they pull their kids from these activities, they will be seen as bad parents or their kids will just get into trouble not having something to occupy their every moment. Sure activities can be useful and skill developing but it shouldn’t be at the expense of anyone’s health or the family unit. I absolutely cringe when I hear families are eating dinner in their mini-vans as they drive from one activity to another. Really? I have no idea how this kind of busy couldn’t not affect one’s health. Please don’t assume that if you aren’t “keeping up” with it all that the problem is a lack of time management skills that a new planner will fix. Instead what you might want to consider is simplifying life by letting some things go. I know it’s counter-culture to even suggest such a thing but I promise you that you don’t have to move off the grid to make it happen.
Here are two posts I’ve written that might help:
How to Slow Down In a Super Fast World ~ includes 6 steps to help you slam on the brakes of the chaos train you are on so you can truly experience the benefits of living a simpler slower way of life.
Let’s Stop Complicating Life More Than We Need To ~ simplifying isn’t just about removing the things in our lives that we don’t love or use, it also means removing the things that affect us negatively even if those are things we love and use.
Is busyness making you sick? Are you overwhelmed and fatigued dealing with irritability, anxiety, insomnia and even headaches? All could be a result of excessive busyness if your life. Is it time for you and your family to make some changes?
Lana says
My children are grown and we did not do all of those crazy activities. Our adult children do not feel like they were shorted or have suffered because of it. The thing that bothers me most about this busyness thing is that people are not doing things of value like spending quality time with others. I find that others do not even want to come to my home to be fed a nice meal because they are too busy. I wonder if they even think about it before they say they are too busy or just say it automatically. When the children are grown and gone I do not think all of this craziness will have created good memories but rather all they will remember is always being on the go and never being just home as a family. I may be wrong but our good memories are of doing things that were together and relaxing.
Laura says
Yes I agree Lana. I love just hanging out with the kids at night in the living room talking about life and just spending quality time together. No rushing around for us. Thank you for sharing your experience with your family.
Laura
Sabrina | Frugal Italian Family says
Hi, I am a new reader of your blog and yes, I am overwhelmed and fatigued and I am trying to make some changes in my family life in order to slow down. I found your blog really interesting. Thank you for your help!
Mridu at Life is Organized says
I love this reminder Laura. And it’s funny, because I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort to keep this word out of my vocabulary too. I let go of a couple biz-related and kid-related groups/committees right at the beginning of the year, in an effort to slow down a bit and be more present for my family. It’s really hard because you don’t want to let anyone down — but “the space” is so worth it!
Susanne says
Now that my kids are all adults and all have their own vehicles I find I’m in the stage of life where it naturally slows down. That being said because I work with preschoolers in my home all day long I have to watch my tendency to “do” things outside the house. I can still be running every night if I let myself.
Laura says
So many things vie for our attention…good things too. Sometimes it’s really tough to make the hard choice not to do something based on our circumstances. We just finished studying Lysa Terkheurst’s The Best Yes in our bible study. It was excellent.
Susanne says
And btw, that sentence about complicating our lives at the end really jumped out at me. Something to definitely think about!