So I’ve noticed that so many of us walk around complaining about how stressed out and busy we are. And yet what I’ve realized is this…we are doing it to ourselves.
So much of life is not in our control…the weather, sickness, traffic, etc. I get that. However there are many things that we have going on in our lives that we are allowing to happen even though we don’t have the time, space, money or energy for them. Why do we do this? Out of obligation, guilt, fear, happiness (not all complications are bad ones) or even habit I suppose. Whatever the reason, if you find that you are going through life stressed out and frustrated then perhaps it’s time to take notice and do something about it.
We buy stuff and then complain about all the clutter in our homes.
We drag our kids from activity to activity and complain about how tired everyone is and how no one cooperates.
We eat out a couple of times a week and then complain about how we can never lose weight.
We buy stuff for our homes, eat meals out and enroll our kids in expensive activities and then complain we are in debt.
We say yes to way too many ministries or activities and then complain we are never home for our families.
We plant a garden and then complain that we have no time for it or that no one helps weed it.
We buy a treadmill and then complain we don’t have the energy to use it.
We plan elaborate dinner parties and then complain about how much work it is.
We spend time with friends on a daily basis only to complain to them about how we don’t have time to organize our homes.
We menu plan a week’s worth of time consuming recipes that we can’t get to and then complain that menu planning doesn’t work for us.
Choices. All of them choices that we make each and every day. Believe me I’m talking to myself here as much as I am to you.
Are we listening to ourselves and all this negative self talk?
Are we really listening?
Because here’s the thing. If we are really listening, we can CHOOSE to make some changes. We can CHOOSE to turn the negative complaining into something positive even if what we have to do hurts in the interim. Not all choices are going to be easy to make.
Having a garden could be something that you find totally relaxing and enjoyable but if you are 9 months pregnant, perhaps this isn’t your year to put one in.
Having people over for dinner might be something you are keen to do but if all the work frustrates you then change it up and go potluck style instead.
If living in a cluttered home drives you crazy then maybe it’s time to make a small change that propels you to a less chaotic life.
Are we complaining just for the sake of complaining or do we really want to make a change? Either way let’s stop complaining. Either decide you aren’t going to do something about it and move on OR decide that this is the time for change. Negativity isn’t good for anyone.
Negative in = negative out
Take a negative statement like “something must be wrong with me that I can’t keep a tidy house” and change it to a positive action like “today I’m going to spend 15 minutes organizing one area of my home”. The difference is huge. One is so detrimental and the other life changing.
Positive in = positive out
Life is complicated enough without us having to make it anymore so.
Pay attention to the things in your life that leave you stressed and frustrated and figure out why. Drill it down. What kind of positive change can you make, even if it’s a hard one, so that you aren’t living with nothing but negativity day in and day out.
Complicating life is exhausting so let’s stop it okay?
Simplifying isn’t just about removing the things in our lives that we don’t love or use but it also means removing the things that affect us negatively even if those are things we love and use.
We live in seasons. Perhaps you are in a season of life where expectations need to be lowered, activities need to cease, shopping needs to slow down, circumstances need to change (etc) but just remember it doesn’t have to be forever. Sometimes we have to do hard things just to save our sanity in the right here and now.
So….
Figure out what is most important for your life right now.
Stop or modify the things that hinder or block this from happening.
One day at a time.
Let’s…
Stop complaining
and stop complicating life.
Instead let’s start living in the positive
And we’ll see what happens.
Who’s with me?
Are you complicating life unnecessarily? What one thing can you change TODAY to stop that?
Linking up: Somewhat Simple
Jennifer says
Awesome article hits home with me. Thanks for writing it:0)
Leanne says
I love this post and need to take it to heart and make a few changes. Sometimes it’s hard to change when your life changes, but it needs to be done for our sanity. Thanks for the reminder.
Lindsey says
Great post, I have been thinking about this over the last few months. I stepped away from a commitment a month or so ago which was hard and I do still miss it, but I have so much more time at home to get things done, I am more relaxed and spend more time with my kids. It is good to be reminded of this every now and then
Tamyra says
As I’ve gotten older(Lord help I sound like my Mother) I have seen how important it is to take time out from such a busy life. Life is short, childhood is temporary, our babies grow up in the blink of an eye. When we look back we spent that time rushing and fussing around to obligations instead of family dinners where we hear about everyone’s day. Recently, I took the stand to do things I wanted to do and not felt obligated to do, it wasn’t a popular decision. I realized I was letting others drive my life, not anymore!
GREAT post!
Leah says
Thanks for this post! Sometimes it’s hard to realize we do it to ourselves. I’m working on being more positive and decluttering the house because it is a big stress factor for me.
Robin W says
Thank you so much for writing this. I think about this all the time but rarely do anything about it. For me, I also sometimes I feel like I need to be extra “busy” to have something to complain about with everyone else!
This quote is my favorite:
“Simplifying isn’t just about removing the things in our lives that we don’t love or use but it also means removing the things that affect us negatively even if those are things we love and use.”
So true!
Kristi @ Creative Kristi says
This is so true! Everyone always asks why our kids aren’t in gymnastics or t-ball or something and my replies are that we can’t afford it (won’t go into debt over tutus and baseballs) and I want to spend time together as a family. Sitting on the sidelines watching them isn’t ‘spending time’. I still have clutter but spending time together is the one area I refuse to ‘complicate’ 🙂 Thanks for the reminder!
Stacey-Lee says
Thank you for this post, some time ago I realized that I indeed was complicating things. Out with the clutter, out with the after school stretching budget and quality time activities, out with the too high expectations and negative mindset. It is liberating and having read this, I have realize just how far I have come 🙂 still a little ways to go but getting there..
Elizabeth Killen says
Fantastic post!
Cheryl @ The Creative Me and My McG says
Great post – sometimes, as much as I love to blog, it seems like a hassle to find projects to complete just to have something to post…thanks for this – I’m going to make some changes!
Hilda @ From Overwhelmed To Organized says
Thanks for this great reminder Laura! It’s too easy to complain and not even realize that we made choices that got us to the very thing we’re complaining about. Decluttering my home has really made me feel less stressed on a daily basis. And we’ve intentionally kept our schedules fairly free. Our kids alternate seasonally which one is involved in activities so we’re not out multiple nights a week being a taxi service and missing out on family dinners. Now I’m off to share this post for others who may be feeling overwhelmed!
Julie says
My husband and I have this ongoing conversation about this topic. We just discussed it yesterday as a matter-of-fact. For the past several years we have strived to live a less complicated life and sometimes we are successful and sometimes we fail. We are quicker these days in recognizing when we’ve added too many things and can usually make the necessary changes to cut back in a timely manner. As much as we LOVE a garden and fresh produce right out our back door…we had to nix it this year. I am in the middle of my 3rd pregnancy and he is working extra hours this summer…so after discussing it, we both knew it would be a source of frustration (and probably wasted money) and have peace in our decision.
Thanks for these great reminders! Sometimes I’m tempted to think that maybe we’re missing out when we say “No” but really, we’re investing in our family and in our marriage and the payoff is immense.
Elizabeth says
Love this post! I have a natural tendency to complain, but have been working (for the past few years) to stay more positive, worry less, and hopefully have a better life as a result. Your message is a great reminder to me to set and stick with those positve intentions. Thanks for making the start of my Tuesday a good one!
Kimberley says
Couldn’t agree with you more! Just recently I finally realized there are only so many hours in a day and days in a week and I realized I wasn’t giving the things that mattered my best time because I was spreading myself so thin. And yes, I was complaining I didn’t have time for anything.
I sat down and wrote out everything I was doing throughout the week and then prioritized them. From there I figured out how much time I needed to spend on each area to accomplish my goals and desires and made the tough decision to drop some of the lower priorities. I am so much more productive now AND have time for the things that really matter!
Andrea @the Distracted Housewife.com says
You hit me right in the feels today. Thank you for the reminder! I think that should be my new mantra. Positive in- Positive out. I have been a rather negative nancy lately and need change that.
Laura Jane says
So true! It’s amazing how quickly we can complicate things. I find myself wanting to try way too many projects and then wonder why I can’t get them all done. I really think the fun things lose their fun when they’re so rushed, and you feel so overwhelmed.
Kathy J. says
Love this post! I’m sure this hit home for many of us!
Alli says
I needed this reminder. With the end of the school whirl wind and other things going on in our lives it feels chaotic. What a great reminder to slow down, and look at what we’re filling our lives with, because some of it, just isn’t all that important, and it always seems like the less important stuff has a sneaky way of taking time away from the important things. Thank you for writing such a wonderful post and for sharing this with us/
Tami says
Great post….well said! Thank you 🙂
Ann says
Its funny (not really, but….) I can see the negative in/negative out in other people; I need to be more aware of myself. As for making myself a more positive person, I have begun taking my vitamins, and telling myself that I’m feeling better, more relaxed and have more energy because of this. I think its working too!
Mridu Parikh says
This might be your best post ever!!! 😉 LOVE, LOVE it!! I feel like I want to yell this message to friends and clients all the time! 🙂 I couldn’t agree more. There are so many things that are out of our control…why not take control of the things that are? Bravo Laura! Fantastic message 🙂
Linda Stoll says
fabulous . simply . fabulous!
Sarah @ Thrifty Decor Chick says
Oh man, I love every bit of this! Social media has turned life into a competition of sorts — who can be the busiest. I’ve never understood it — why women especially need to compete over who is has the most going on in life. I really don’t get it!
Crystal & Co says
Amen sister!
Jill Robson says
Great blog Laura. I am always amazed how many of the people I help tell me how much they have to do that they can’t organize. When I look at their schedules it makes ME dizzy. You are right we over schedule BUSY because we think that is what we should be doing. I hope people read your blog and really take the time to think about what you have said. Well done!
Gaby@AventurasVerdes says
It looks like you are writing to me =D haha, thanks for your advise, I’ve been thinking about quitting my job because I can’t stand to be here anymore. I think I’m doing it soon =D Yoou are so right, we need to have positive influences in our life and stop complaining
Crystal says
Great post!!
Martha says
Hi Laura,
This post came at a perfect time to confirm a very recent decision I’ve made. I’m stepping down from a job that has been taking over my entire life these last few years and going into a part time position that is basically stress free and something I will love doing. It’s really scary considering it will cut my pay into about 1/4 of what I’m currently making, but having the time and freedom to finally be able to sell 3 households full of stuff (long story), being able to workout again, cook healthy meals, have a clean uncluttered home, save the gas money, wear and tear on my car from a 45 minute commute, etc. is going to make it all worth it!
Anna MArie says
you may find you come out ahead financially- check Larry Burkett’s book- Women Leaving the Marketplace – some women find they have been netting $1.00 per hour when they consider all their working expenses
Jess says
LOVE this post, Laura! Thank you for writing it. It’s exactly what I feel is the answer, but thank you for the reminder to reduce the complicated-ness if that’s the case in my life!
Thanks again!
Betsy Miller says
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! All things I’ve said many times! I would love for you to share it on my FB page if you want to! It’s mind blowing that sooooo many people (especially women) get so caught up.
Thanks for keeping it real.
Betsy Miller
2B Organized
Michelle says
Tell it! I’ve got the positivity down (it’s how I’m hard-wired), now I just need to stand my ground as I raise our three boys.
Pauline says
Great post! I really needed this today – thanks for writing it!
hsmominmo says
AMEN! just what I needed to read this morning. Thank you 🙂
Tiffany says
Well said! Thank you for the reminder! 🙂
Donna Gelineau says
Very well said and timely. Thanks
Jennifer says
I just sat down the other day, while awaiting to see if I got the job, and decided I’d do the one thing I’d been doing all week long: pray. My prayer wasn’t a bargain. You know, “Dear God, if you do this for me, I’ll do that?” No, it was really simple and the result was quite powerful. I asked, “Dear Lord, please lift this burden from me and take it away. If this is the path you have chosen for me, please release this burden from me so that I may see your path clearly.” With the next 15-20 minutes, the stress, strain, pain in my neck and head was gone. I was still nervous, but knew I could make it through the day. Within 30 minutes, I was being walked down the hall to a meeting. I was offered the job.
For each day, I simply ask the Lord to guide me in my decisions and help me be a better person. Simplify and you will be amazed.
Norma Jean says
Great insight! I am 72 and still trying to live my life like I did at 40 and wondering why I can’t do it all. It is definitely time to make some changes and lower some of my expectations. I’m not ready for a rocking chair…yet…but. . . Thank you OOJ!
Barb Hodgkinson says
I’m so grateful to come across your words. This may sound odd, but tears are on the edge of coming. This is the best help I’ve had in a long time. You reached inside and said what has been on my mind. Now I want to put it into action.
Laura says
Oh that’s terrific Barb, so glad I could help. Thanks for visiting my site!
Vijaya Lakshmi says
Great Post ! Yes…POSITIVE IN…. POSITIVE OUT . This is what I am required at this moment .Thanks a lot.
Ann says
This was from 2013? Still applicable to many of us in 2018! Great wake up call to re-think priorities. Another related issue: people who make themselves crazy because they make “little” things into monsterous decisions/chores/obligations. Stop complaining and blowing things out of proportion—these are just the tasks of life and knock them out as best you can at the time. Obsessing about them will drive you crazy—stop thinking and start doing! Tasks don’t have to be perfect. Trying to keep all the things in your life “perfect” is not an enjoyable way to LIVE life.