Apparently Braiding 101 lessons are in order

by Laura on May 19, 2009

in My Life,Silly Fun

Oh my goodness girlfriends if this isn’t an example of keeping it real I don’t know what is.   I”m not known for my cooking abilities around these parts and after Monday’s disaster in my house I am seriously considering starting a food blog for losers.  Why?  Oh you’ll see.

When Amy Twittered me her yummy recipe for Pizza Braid, I took one look at all her lovely pictures and decided oh ya baby I can do that.

I’m mean really, how hard can it be to criss cross some dough?

No sweat right?

When will I ever learn.

For full effect, Amy was kind enough to let me share HER pizza braid picture with you.   I think it’s important that you see what perfection looks like:

braid-baked

in order to fully appreciate this:

braid-gone-bad

Good grief, that’s just WRONG!  Seriously, what is it!?

Wow, I really outdid myself this time didn’t I.  Sheesh!

I do want to point out though that as long as you closed your eyes while eating it, it really didn’t taste too badly :)

I so need help.

Cooking lessons anyone?

Anyone?


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{ 61 comments… read them below or add one }

1 donetta May 19, 2009 at 9:59 pm

The cool thing is that you gave it your best effort. Lots of folks do not even try. First time you got to shake all the bugs out so to speak.

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2 Barbie May 19, 2009 at 11:09 pm

I think that is hilarious. Thanks for keeping it real for the rest of us. I haven’t even been able to come up with a meal plan yet. But I do think about it every week. That’s one step in the right direction.

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3 Jenny May 20, 2009 at 12:04 am

LOL…I’m sure it tasted good.
I made a homemade pie last month and the top looked horrendous. My hubby did tease me about it,but I’m glad that others suffer from the same kind of baking dilemmas as I do.

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4 JanMary, N Ireland May 20, 2009 at 1:41 am

Thanks for keeping it real.

The first one is almost too perfect – looks shop-bought!

Yours is DEFINITELY home-made! Hope it was delicious.

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5 Wendy Sice May 20, 2009 at 2:30 am

Okay, well maybe it does look a bit like roadkill, but, hey, you have a menu plan!! That’s a big enough achievement! So, my ‘what the..?’ moment this week was that I planned to make the maple glazed chicken that you promoted, and could not find maple syrup in the whole supermarket!!! Where do they keep that stuff??? So I’ll look in another shop this weekend and see if I have more luck. The thing about adventures – they can be quite embarrassing!

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6 Becky May 20, 2009 at 2:31 am

If I tried a pizza braid, I think it would look like yours. And I think that’s just fine. I’m sure it was delicous and nutritious, and that’s the important thing.

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7 Brilliant Moms May 20, 2009 at 5:28 am

That is so funny (and I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing WITH you). The point is that you made something fabulous for your family. Love it.

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8 Amy May 20, 2009 at 5:46 am

Oh, Laura. LOL Thanks for being real and laughing WITH all of us. ;-) Maybe I’ll make a pizza braid video for you sometime!

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9 Kim May 20, 2009 at 5:50 am

Okay! BIG LOL over here. You couldn’t appreciate yours without seeing hers first! LOL.
Mine would probably have been just as bad. That’s why I make calzones instead! LOL.
Hugs.
Kim

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10 Jenny May 20, 2009 at 5:53 am

I am like so much like you when cooking. Best of intentions, lack of skill. My Hubby is the better cook at our house. Everyone knows it, when family is coming they sometimes ask who will be cooking. LOL

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11 Nique May 20, 2009 at 5:59 am

Thanks for sharing! I made stromboli for the first time last night and it was a disaster.

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12 Chele May 20, 2009 at 6:18 am

At least you tried! I can’t help you there! I am not a great cook!! Remember, practice makes perfect!

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13 ter May 20, 2009 at 6:34 am

what, you’re not perfect?? lol at least you tried! :)

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14 Rhonda B May 20, 2009 at 6:40 am

I have never tried a pizza braid, but I know it wouldn’t be pretty. To say that, yours looks like the intestines of a large animal… thank you for sharing what others of us have/would probably done our first time out of the gate. Love your site!

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15 Jenny May 20, 2009 at 6:44 am

LOL! I think it’s great of you to show us. Keep it real! I LOL’d also because it makes me think of something my dad used to say …

“Are we going to look at it, or are we going to eat it?”

I’m sure it tasted fantastic!

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16 kari May 20, 2009 at 6:55 am

That is so hilarious! Yeah for you for trying, I would never try cause I know it would turn out horrible. Thanks for the good laugh:)

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17 Annie May 20, 2009 at 7:12 am

Oh I was checking that recipe out…now I’ll have to try it to see what mine looks like. Of course remember when T. was trying to teach you to braid your daughter’s hair…it didn’t go that well either!!

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18 Debbie May 20, 2009 at 7:19 am

I made the same thing for dinner last night. It looked identical to yours.

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19 MidwestTwinGirl May 20, 2009 at 7:51 am

Thanks! I needed a laugh this morning. There’s nothing worse that trying to mimic a ‘pretty’ recipe and having it come out looking like a train wreck, or in my case it usually lookes like cat food.

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20 Shelle May 20, 2009 at 8:00 am

Thanks for making my morning – I saw the first picture before I started reading and thought wow, how is that a disaster? Then I read, scrolled and laughed out loud.

Hey – at least you tried.

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21 Susanne May 20, 2009 at 8:57 am

I love you, my friend. Your just like me. Give me cooking, I’m good at that but throw something in there that involves the baking end and something even remotely artful and we’re in trouble. I’m sure it tasted just wonderful though and good for you. I bet the next time it will turn out even better!

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22 Shanna May 20, 2009 at 9:08 am

I just knew as I scrolled down that it would look like something that would happen to me. I love to go out on limbs and try new things – usually – not always – they end up like this. Thankfully, not often does it affect the taste. LOL

Thanks for sharing.

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23 Laura May 20, 2009 at 9:21 am

You gals are all cracking me up trying to make me feel better. So sweet and can I just tell you how much I love knowing I’m not alone!

And yes Amy a video tutorial would be awesome! It’s the next best thing to having you come move in with me to show me these things :)

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24 Charlene May 20, 2009 at 9:31 am

I make something similar with a tex-mex filling of taco meat, corn, and cheese, and I just pinch the the dough together on the top.

You can see my version here:
http://tinyurl.com/qy2n5n

It’s the taste that matters, not the looks, right?

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25 Katie May 20, 2009 at 10:18 am

I can’t help you cause yours is what mine looked like too! hehehe

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26 Cheryl May 20, 2009 at 10:35 am

I would be no help because I couldn’t even fold a calzone right. You would think, just fold it in half and pinch the edges, would be easy for me to follow, right? Wrong. Very wrong! I spent ah hour cleaning up the mess from poorly constructed calzones. They were tasty though, much like your pizza braid I’m sure!

I will try again and prevail (eventually) though! Progress not perfection is my mantra! Trying is major progress.

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27 Joye May 20, 2009 at 11:40 am

Thanks for the laugh I needed it today for sure! It’s good to know we all fail sometimes :)

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28 Dolli-mama May 20, 2009 at 11:43 am

Just tell your kids it is supossed to be mummy bread, not a pizza braid! They will want to eat it every halloween from now until forever!
Thanks for the post, I hope the next one works out better for you!

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29 Amy May 20, 2009 at 11:45 am

This is my first time visiting your site.
Thank you for the belly laugh!!
although I like to cook, I def. couldn’t braid that big hunk of dough..too too funny!

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30 Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama May 20, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Looks like something I would make!

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31 Marci@OvercomingBusy May 20, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Ok Seriously. I was just checking out your site to thank you for linking to the pizza braid recipe. I made it last night and it tasted awesome! My only problem was that my braid wasn’t as pretty as Amy’s. Now that I see yours, I feel better! LOL!! ;) Thanks again!!! We all have those days don’t we?

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32 Janelle May 20, 2009 at 12:40 pm

This whole topic is making me hungry. I know what I’m going to attempt for dinner Friday night now. I’m sure it will end up looking more like yours, if that good.

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33 Erin Kathleen May 20, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I make a Chicken/Broccoli braid that is similar to the pizza braid and mine usually looks a lot like yours. I don’t think it’s you! I hate using the crescent rolls and that’s why mine never looks fancy. They never stay together and break apart.

I think you did a great job!

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34 Kat May 20, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Oh no!!! We’ve all had those things happen!

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35 Kelli Miller May 20, 2009 at 4:08 pm

ROTFL! My chicken-broccoli braid looks like Amy’s but my MIL’s looks more like yours :-D It is the kind of thing you REALLY have to see done.. explaining it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to most peopl.

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36 Creative Triplet Mom May 20, 2009 at 7:06 pm

I’m not a good cook either. I seriously took cooking lessons before the kids were born. I went to my supermarket. I took about a dozen classes and watched Food network. I am much better now.

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37 Jena OrganizingMommy May 20, 2009 at 7:23 pm

I often wonder if recipes like “apple pandowdy” started with a disaster in the kitchen and a very creative Mom. Thanks for being real. Makes us love you all the more.

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38 Louise May 20, 2009 at 8:01 pm

THANKYOU for sharing!!! I love it & needed the laugh! You are not alone :)

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39 jadekitty May 20, 2009 at 11:06 pm

If you want it to be golden I believe that if you wipe it with egg white. (I know wipe is the wrong word)

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40 Char May 21, 2009 at 12:57 am

Oh gosh, I was having another sleepless night, came online to read some e-mail and the first one I clicked on was yours.

What a hoot!!!! I did laugh out loud. I don’t think it was YOU but maybe too much filling, maybe?

Anyway, thank you for sharing….I so needed a good laugh after a stressful week!

Reminds me of the time I accidently left the sugar out of a Rhubarb pie!!! My Son always brags about my pies but I must have been in a hurry when I was making a bunch of them…and failed to put sugar in his.

He said, “Mom, I am SO glad after bragging about your pies to everyone at work, I didn’t take THAT one to share.”

So, even people that like to cook make mistakes.

BIG HUGS…and keep trying!!!

I still think about that and chuckle.

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41 More Than A Mom May 21, 2009 at 5:28 am

So tell me the trick before I attempt it tomorrow … is it like braiding hair?

And I don’t think yours looks too terrible. Definately edible!

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42 Peggy May 21, 2009 at 6:02 am

Oh, that is just the best story this morning! You are too funny. Send it on over. I’ll eat it! :-) I bet it is delicious!

Thanks for making me smile first thing today!

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43 purple moose May 21, 2009 at 10:51 am

Been there, done that!

If it tasted good, then the filling doesn’t need any help! :)

Bread can be really persnickety and it’s affected by temperature and humidity. Maybe yours just needs a little more rising? A little more time toasting would help the color.

Here’s my trick *shhh don’t tell anyone* –use more yeast than the recipe calls for. It helps my dough poof better.

Your pizza braid isn’t ready for the food network, but keep trying! I think it’s an awesome idea and maybe you can work the kinks out and make a lovely braid. (Hey, did I just make a pun?! Ha!)

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44 Lori May 21, 2009 at 12:46 pm

WOE – pat yourself on the back – you tried, that is all that counts – and I’m sure your family gobbled it up – who can go wrong with PIZZA! LOL

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45 Lori May 21, 2009 at 12:46 pm

WOE – pat yourself on the back – you tried, that is all that counts – and I’m sure your family gobbled it up – who can go wrong with PIZZA! LOL

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46 Karen L May 21, 2009 at 1:09 pm

You can cover bread problems with shredded cheese on top, or some sourcream & chives. Don’t know if that would have covered much of yours. It certainly was creatively different. Also, if pies don’t look pretty, add either whipped cream, ice cream, or some chopped up fruit. I used to look forward to Thanksgiving to see what problem would crop up so I be creative. Seems the problems are never the same from year to year (Cook the pies then oven was off when turkey went in the hot oven or someone shows up with several people with them and you have to feed more, etc.).

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47 Judy May 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm

No sweat, just make it October for halloween, then when people point out it looks just like a mummy, you can say , Yes! I MENT to do that ! ;) It’s festive :)

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48 Tasha May 21, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Oh Laura I laughed so hard when I saw this I am sorry….I love braids I think my all time favorite a turkey braid I almost crave that more than the turkey dinner itself…..yum

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49 Rachel Laughlin May 21, 2009 at 9:46 pm

LOL! It looks like an alien life form! Oh, that’s funny. I like the way you shared it, it wouldn’t not have been nearly as funny w/out the build up and other pic!
Thanks for the smile!

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50 Hilde May 21, 2009 at 10:24 pm

Actually, I would swear the perfect braid has not been braided, but just cut!

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51 Katie @ 3Blondes&... May 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Bless your heart…that actually made me laugh out loud. But only because you showed the picture of a perfect braid!

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52 Melissa Hauf May 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm

That’s funny…i was going to try this recipe this week and was confident in doing it too LMAO!!! so i guess here goes nothing hehehehe…it can’t look any worse right? j/k!!!

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53 sandy May 22, 2009 at 6:41 pm

oh my, looks like something i’d make :)

thanks for sharing, laura. wish i would have linked to this!

happy weekend!

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54 Amanda May 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Thank you for the laugh and keeping it real.

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55 Cathy Tibbles May 23, 2009 at 8:28 pm

WAAAA. That is funny!! Thanks for the laugh!
Cathy

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56 Lisa May 26, 2009 at 10:36 am

That’s funny. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these moments. Just call it a volcano sandwich and pretend like you meant to do it! As long as it tastes good, that’s all that matters.

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57 Amy R. May 26, 2009 at 11:46 am

First time on your site and I laughed out loud! Funny.

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58 Sarah May 27, 2009 at 7:36 pm

LOL thanks for your honesty! I thought you were exaggerating and being too hard on yourself… until I saw the photo. ;-)

If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure I would do equally well (or poorly, whichever the case might be). At least you attempted it! “A” for effort.

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59 Candace August 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Thanks for sharing! That’s THE hardest I’m laughed all day!

I can totally relate- that’s how mine would have looked too :)

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60 Anna August 23, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I’m new to your blog and this is one of the first posts I’ve read- you cracked me up! LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!! Thanks for making me feel a teensy bit better about my own baking skills! Best Wishes!

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61 Erika August 23, 2010 at 3:16 pm

So I’ve only just recently “discovered” your blog … just clicked over to this post and literally started laughing out loud!! No, no, not because yours didn’t turn out (ahem) quite perfectly, but because that is EXACTLY what mine would have looked like if I tried!!! I am QUITE challenged when it comes to cooking, and that’s usually what happens to me …. beautiful picture, not so beautiful turn out! :-) Thanks for making me feel not so alone! :)

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